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Out Of Office Poetry

One of my clients had this set as his email out of office autoresponder. Pure gold.

So, Ted Cruz has quit the race.
Leaving the way open for the man with the red face,
Who leaks bile from his every orifice,
To run unchallenged for a cab to the oval office.

I left my rectangular offices
To join up with those mercurial goddesses
And flew off to San Francisco
Home to streets, hills and quality disco.
Where Mercury Rev and I were on hire
To improvise a score to the film Vampyr
At this wonderful Film Festival
It wasn’t gory like Alien or extraterrestrial
Like The Man Who Fell To Earth
It was an event of real worth.

But people i must now tell you of my imminent sense of elation
As i am about to begin a few days vacation.
And i urge you to think twice
About asking for my advice
Knowing as you do now,
That even i must allow
Myself an occasional day off or two.
I don’t think this is an extreme view!

I’ll be back sooner than you think
Not with a red face but a gentle shade of pink.

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